Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Ow, and ick

Well, good news. My uterus is normal. No polyps or fibroids or whatever. My right ovary has a promising looking follicular cyst that should pop out a nice little egg later this cycle, so I need you to send your most fertile vibes to my vagina, please. Thanks!

The procedure -- the sonohysterogram -- was ok. Mine was performed by a doctor who, if I had to guess, is about 150 years old. Imagine all the vaginas that dude has seen in his lifetime. Anyway, he shoves in the speculum and realizes my cervix is too high (I'm really beginning to wonder if my high cervix/tilted uterus is what's really behind my fertility issues, although I don't suppose that would explain the miscarriages). So his little helper nurse runs off to find a longer one. Oh, joy.

The longer one works fine. I feel some discomfort akin to menstrual cramps, in addition to the mental discomfort of two people staring at my vagina under fluorescent lights. He swabs my cervix with iodine, puts a catheter through it, and then helper nurse pumps saline solution into my uterus while he does a vaginal ultrasound. If there is any sort of prize for most use of the word vagina in a blog post, this one might win it.

So yeah. Kind of a relief, but still kind of a mystery. I'm gonna give this cycle a shot before I run off for karyotype (chromosome) testing and subject my husband to another sperm analysis. I'm just wondering if all this infertility crap is my dumb, shitty luck. It just would not surprise me.

Meanwhile I'm continuing to have my heart checked out and went this morning for my holter monitor, which is strangely more painful than an old man digging around in my vagina. That's because for the monitor they've got to scratch the points of contact on your chest and other areas on the torso. It really burns for like half an hour. After that it's just annoying because you feel like a robot. Going to the bathroom is especially fun.

My echocardiogram is Saturday, and that's just an ultrasound of the heart. I fully expect these results to come back "normal," as in normal for me, slightly abnormal for others. I just want the doctor to say I should be fine to carry a pregnancy, which I expect he will. Not that I really care what he says; I'm still trying regardless, at least for the moment.


  1. Second paragraph: I thought that read "...performed by Dr. Who..." I was impressed.

    My uterus is tilted too, and when the dr asked if it was, I practically screamed out "YES!! IT'S TILTED!" just to ensure he inserted the speculum in the "special way" that tilted uteruses require. (Which probably doesn't even exist, but in my brain, it does.)

    1. Dr. Who all up in my biz-nass... that would be a WHOLE other story. :)

      And yeah I'm starting to think I need to just tell everyone that mofo is tilted before they go trying to strike gold up in my piece. Also wondering if I should be standing on my head after coitus. Just a thought. ;)

  2. So, results from HSG are clear? Tubes are wide open for follicular transport? That's my problem, stupid tubes.

    Anyway, good luck. I'm 100% rooting for your vagina to do its damn job already. :)

    1. It wasn't an HSG, which I believe uses iodine instead of saline and is a more thorough test. My doctor felt that because I've been pregnant twice, there's likely no blockage in my tubes, so she just wanted to do the sonohysterogram. Who knows -- I may yet end up doing the HSG as well! But I'm really, really hoping something awesome happens before that's necessary.

    2. Oh, my bad, SHG, HSG, all the same G's to me. :) I guess that makes sense.

      Good luck. Wishing only the fertile best for you.