Thursday, June 23, 2011


I finally opened the new patient email my new doctor’s office sent me at the end of May. I knew I needed to fill out a medical history form before Friday’s appointment, and I thought I was being extra on top of it by opening said email on Wednesday night instead of Thursday night or Friday morning. A medical history form is something I might fill out in the car on the way to the appointment while John drives.

What I didn’t realize was:

a.  I needed to ask my three previous doctors (all of whom ran some sort of fertility blood work and performed pap smears on me) to fax my medical records to the new doctor prior to my appointment.

b.  My consultation will likely take 1.5 to 2 hours and include a detailed review of my medical history, a physical exam and two pelvic ultrasounds.

c.  Even though I have insurance, I should have asked what my out-of-pocket expenses would be for this appointment. I happen to have one of those crazy plans that doesn’t pay a dime until I meet the $2,000 deductible, which, from the sounds of it, might happen at this appointment.

So, I’m kind of freaking out, and I’m seriously considering rescheduling. But first I’m going to call my previous doctors in the morning and see if they can track down my medical records. I have copies of some of my blood work results, but not everything.

Then I’m going to try to prepare myself mentally. I’ve been avoiding even thinking about this appointment. I used to not understand why someone wouldn’t want to go to the doctor, especially if the doctor may have solutions to her problems. But now I get it. It’s much more complicated than I imaged.

I have a friend who doesn’t have children, and she and her husband don’t fully know why. It took me awhile to understand that she really doesn’t want to find out exactly what is going on, at least not right now. She would like nothing more than to be a mother (and she has been to doctors and tried various things). But on the flip side, really having answers might mean finding out she will never have children, and she just doesn’t want that information at this time. She’s told me if they found out for sure that children weren’t possible she and her husband would probably have to take a month off work to grieve and plan and refocus their lives. At this moment, for her, it’s better not to know.

I completely understand. I feel torn between wanting answers and wanting to avoid the whole thing altogether in hopes that it will just go away.

UPDATE: My nails are painted. My legs are shaved. I'm off to see the wizard of fertility today.


  1. Hi! I'm Lisa, and I'm infertile. Nice to meet you. :O)

    Seriously, I'm a serial commenter on this blog now. Not sure that's a good thing.

    I totally understand your avoidance means everything is okay mentality. But, ummmm, it's not. So, put a fake smile on your face, shave your legs, paint your toes, your bottom half is about to get very intimate with some strangers. Weeeeeeee!!!

    I would call your three docs in the am and tell them what you need, and try to cajole them into faxing them to your new doc ASAP. If you have a release form, have that handy to fax to them so that they will fax to the new doc. Otherwise, make sure you have access to a way to get that signed and back to them ASAP.

    I'm CERTAIN your new doctor has had initial appointments with people who don't have all of their ducks in a row. But, they probably don't love that. Why don't you call the new doctor and speak to the scheduler and tell them that you wanted to check to make sure that your previous doctors got your records to them. When they say "no", ask if it's okay for you to still come in on Friday, or should you reschedule while you harass the other doctors into getting your records over.

    Sort of a passive-aggressive way of making sure that you're NOT wasting their time. Because... as someone who had to pay cash for everything infertility related, you DO NOT want to incur two doctor visit fees if you have to go back for another appointment.

    Also, is this appointment scheduled on a certain day of your cycle? If so, you'll want to make sure that you reschedule for that same day, and if not, you want to make sure that they don't need it to be a certain day.

    My first RE, I went in on any old day, since I never got my period. Second RE, they forced a period and I had to start with them on day 3.

    And now, to top it all off, I get my period every month like clock work. Just to remind me that I'll never get pregnant. Ha! I'm not bitter. Just sarcastic.

    Go forth, and get wanded!

  2. Ok, this appointment sounds like the polar opposite of the appointment I had yesterday. WHICH IS A GOOD THING. Please don't cancel! This is exactly what you've been needing, even if it means paying that ridiculous deductible (ours is $4,000 - insanity). Lisa's advice above is great - maybe you should reschedule if they can't get all the medical history by tomorrow...

  3. I didnt have all mine and it was ok...they want to retest everything for themselves anyway. You can do this!

  4. Lisa - well said!

    C- So glad you are going. And I think that the last part of your post answers the question I was asking today...

  5. I had all of my paperwork and they still did everything again. Oh, not on my husband though, just me. They looked at his results and said "wow" and moved on.

    Keep your head up!

  6. Thanks, Everyone! I feel way more prepared now. I took Lisa's advice and painted my nails and shaved my legs. So I'm officially ready for my doctor "date."