I haven't been blogging here, because I felt like I haven't really had anything of use to add to the conversation. I am still not planning on getting pregnant, and in fact have been taking pregnancy tests just to make sure hell hasn't frozen over, pigs aren't flying, and I am not somehow knocked up.
So, why am I blogging today*?
I actually have something to say. Advice, if you will. Something I think will actually help anyone dealing with infertility. No, it's not about how to get a baby in your belly. If I knew that I would be writing a book and encouraging people to buy it and blog about it. Instead, it's about keeping your brains in your head, while trying to get a baby in your belly.
Are you ready?
It's pretty simple.
Don't put your life on hold while trying to get pregnant.
I know, that seems simplistic, and a little ridiculous. After all, how can anything be more important that the pursuit of parenthood? You are probably thinking you aren't putting your life on hold, you are pursuing the next level of your life. You are probably thinking I just don't get it.
If you have read this blog though, or my other blog, I think you know I do.
I am now 37 years old. I started trying to have a baby when I was 32. The five years in between were sucked into the vortex of infertility and adoption. I look back on the past five (almost six) years and I see a lot of regrets. More and more I see that a lot of them have nothing to do with infertility, but things I didn't do because of it. I didn't take job offers. I didn't buy nice clothes. I didn't plan trips. I didn't lose weight (I was sure I would get pregnant and then just gain it all back). I didn't take on projects I thought would take a lot of my time: like learning to play an instrument, or writing a book. I avoided family and friends who were fertile because I was not. I put myself on hold, making infertility the main focus of my life. I missed out.
I don't want you to miss out too.
If friends are planning a trip to Borneo in two months, GO. Don't think "I might be pregnant then, I better not." Worst case scenario you have to cancel and you are possibly out money. It will be worth it. It will also be worth it if you take up a hobby, take a job, go back to school, buy clothes that can in no way be worn as maternity clothing, and spend time watching children you love, even if it hurts at the time.
It won't be easy. It will all be worth it.
Live. And remember you are not alone.
*This post was inspired by Mo over at Mommy Odyssey.