Old Faithful

I needn't have worried about Day 3 falling on Christmas, because my trusty old vagina waited until Christmas Day for Day 1. This has happened several years in a row, so I ought to have suspected this year would be no different.

Normally this would be beyond irksome, but this year, of course, it's pretty good news because it means I get to go for Day 3 testing tomorrow. Day 3 testing is nothing new for me and I don't expect it to reveal anything interesting, but I do wonder about the many other tests they're going to run at the same time.

No one wants anything to be wrong with themselves, but I hope there's something wrong with me just so I can have an answer, finally. Of course, I want it to be something extremely fixable, too. I'm particular that way.

There will be more tests later in my cycle, so I won't have the full story until near the end of January, but, oh ... I wait with bated breath.

getting the ball rolling

What's that saying? The one about how if you have a problem with everyone, maybe you're the problem? After all, the common denominator is you.

I don't have a problem with everyone, but I do have a problem with most doctors. I've only ever had one doctor who helped me out. This was probably six years ago now, when I thought I was having panic attacks. She ran every test under the sun, and the results were super helpful. Turns out I wasn't having panic attacks; my heart is just a little jacked. Unfortunately, that doctor closed her practice.

I just saw a new doctor, and ... I am afraid to get my hopes up, you guys. I went in with my 7-page infertility questionnaire, told her it'd been over two years and two miscarriages, and said I wasn't interested in hearing about how I needed to have a third miscarriage in order for her to be concerned. She told me she wouldn't have said that, anyway. This may have to do with me being 34 years old now.

She is running 19 tests. Many of them are specifically for the repeated miscarriages. 

And she's running the progesterone test, guys. Why has it taken me this long to find a doctor who would run a series of progesterone tests? I've always suspected progesterone was the issue.

I'll also get a heart check-up to make sure I'm OK to actually carry a child since it puts stress on the heart.

Of course, I need to wait for the start of the next cycle before I can do any of these tests. Many of them need to be taken on Day 3 of my cycle. And when do you suppose Day 3 is projected to fall for me, since my cycle has been spot-on for the last several months? That's right. Christmas Day. This Murphy's Law shit is the story of my life. I've just called and confirmed that yes, all of the labs will be closed on Christmas. As they should be. So I will probably have to wait until the following cycle.

It's ok, really. I do feel very rushed to get my results, but it's been over two years already. Another month won't hurt.

rite of passage

Today our anonymous submitter from April has another piece for us to read. It's about something most of us in the (in)fertility game have done at least once, often a few times. Results vary. Personally, I'm enjoying the injection of a little humor, as I'm currently entertaining Aunt Flo. Hope you enjoy, too.

Last week, I got to experience something all new to me in the world of babymaking: I took my partner's sperm sample for testing. You know, just in case I'm not the only one with the infertility problem here (Yeah. Right).

A few days before our appointment, I made sure to get specific details from the lab on the who/what/when/where/and how of sperm sample delivery. According to this office in particular, the sample can be retrieved from home or there in the office, but it must be checked in for testing within one hour. I knew this would be the tricky part because my partner usually clocks in to work at 7:50AM, which means he leaves the house by 7:35AM, but the lab only opened at 8:30AM and was a good 30 minutes away from our house. I'm no math whiz and even I knew that meant I would need to have my game face when it came to delivering the goods.

So the morning of the appointment everything at home went off without a hitch. My partner and I wished each other a great day and I was on my way. As soon as I was on the road, this crazy James Bond 007 feeling came over me. It was like I was on a top-secret mission, dodging bullets, jumping cars to get this prized possession to an undisclosed location. The whole drive, I held the sample cup in between my legs because the sample needed to be kept at body temperature. I was kind of like a mother chicken. I felt like I needed those Baby on Board decals covering every inch of my car. DON'T PEOPLE KNOW I'M IN A HURRY??!? THIS IS A SPERM EMERGENCY!!! I probably studied the clock on my dashboard more than I did the road in front of me.

I ended up arriving at the testing facility with 15 minutes to spare. I have no idea how that happened. "Yes!" I thought, "Mission: Accomplished!!!" I was the first and only patient in the office. The receptionist handed me worksheet after worksheet to fill out. I felt like yelling at her "THIS SPERM ONLY HAS 15 MINUTES, YOU KNOW!?!??!!?!" but I didn't want her to press the secret under-the-desk buttons that you use when a crazy person is nearby and you want to summon the SWAT team.

The whole appointment only took about 10 minutes, but it seemed like the most valuable 10 minutes of my life. We haven't received the results yet because of last week's holiday. Until we do, I'll be on the edge of my 007 seat.

one word of advice

If you happen to be home alone and want to watch something funny, and you also happen to be infertile, may I suggest you refrain from watching "What to Expect When You're Expecting"?

Sweet Baby Jesus.

I admit it was a dumb move on my part, ordering that movie from Netflix in the first place. But I honestly thought it was going to be a funny ha-ha "look how much pregnancy sucks but being a mom is cool" movie. And it was some of that but it was also a lot of oh my god miscarriage and trying-for-two-years and IVF and bad eggs and adoption and ... I sobbed. It was really ugly. I should have turned it off and I didn't because I'm a glutton for punishment.


Lesson learned. No movies about pregnancy/adoption/infertility/babies. Not yet.

no news is just that

I took a couple cycles off from tracking and am about a week out from Big Red. I just decided I needed the mental break, besides which we went on a vacation, which makes tracking difficult. Lots of people say Maybe you'll make a vacation baby! Maybe we did, but I never have before, and I've been on a few vacations since we started this process. I've only ever conceived while tracking.

So I think I'm gonna let the Catholics take a stab at this. Have you guys heard of Napro Technology? It kind of cracks me up that they call it that ... it's just natural reproduction ... technology? They're all about reproduction strictly via sex, and to get there they're all about solving the underlying medical issue that is preventing conception.

Which -- isn't that what all doctors, regardless of religious affiliation -- ought to be doing?! Besides causing infertility, a number of underlying problems can cause other health issues, too. But none of the doctors I've seen have wanted to find out what's going on. They've wanted to throw Clomid at me, or have me try IVF. But getting them to run diagnostic tests has been nearly impossible.Why?! It makes me want to go back to school and become a gynecologist. If only it weren't for that whole poking around in the vagina thing.

Anyway, Christina tells me the doctor I am particularly interested in seeing does not mess around when it comes to miscarriage, so I take it she doesn't share the "it's not a problem until you've had three miscarriages" belief. Which would be a relief. It's just hilarious in a demented way, all my stupid doctors telling me after the first miscarriage: Now, you're gonna be worried about trying again, but everything will be just fine next time. And then when it wasn't they didn't say It will be fine next time again. Assholes.

In related news, I've kept up with Weight Watchers and the cardio kickboxing, and have lost 16 pounds since my highest weight this year. Halloween candy isn't doing me any favors, but I'm doing my best to stick with the program. I'm lighter than I was both times I got pregnant before, so that's good. I hope next cycle's BBT chart looks a lot more normal, but I won't get my hopes up.

chart pt. 2

Just more charting for those fertility nerds who are into this stuff. I admittedly haven't been the best charter, but with the numbers I've continued to log, Fertility Friend has changed its estimate of my ovulation date to Day 13. As a reminder, last week it'd said my probable ovulation date was Day 17. If I strictly follow Making Babies guidelines, it would be Day 19.

In reality, I'm on Day 29, not 27. Not sure how I screwed that up. Oh, and I checked -- not pregnant. Not surprising.

There are so many problems with charting, especially if your hormones are whacked and even more so if you're a sometimes-insomniac. The only way to know for sure if I even did ovulate would be to have an ultrasound. We're still working out the kinks in our new insurance, so yeah. No doctor's appointments until that's all figured out.

I've started taking The Supplement That Shall Not Be Named (TSTSNBN) and I'm curious to see if it affects the chart during my next cycle. I've also just joined Weight Watchers.

*sigh*

charting

Here's my BBT chart this cycle ...

That spike actually happened on Day 20 but I messed up the chart, so yeah.

The Machine said my LH surged on Day 14, but I didn't get a temperature spike until Day 20. It makes me wonder if I am ovulating at all this cycle, and if I am if I'm ovulating a cruddy egg.

It's annoying.

Anyway. My order of Pregnitude (or as it shall henceforth be known, The Supplement That Shall Not Be Named) is due to arrive Thursday, and I'm sort of excited to see what it will do for me. It's supposed to improve egg quality, help induce ovulation, and help you lose weight.

Here's a link to an interesting post on myo-inositol, the active ingredient in TSTSNBN. Tell me what you think ...


**update** fertility friend thinks I ovulated on Day 17. This is in direct conflict with what Making Babies says, which is that ovulation has occurred once your temperature jumps at least .4 degrees higher than the highest temperature over the previous six days. That only appears to have happened on Day 19. Today's temp fell back down to 98.2.