Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 28

Today (this post is being written on Tuesday) is Day 28. You know what that means! In theory, I'm either going to start bleeding or ... I'm not.

My mantra on Day 28 is:

I will not take a pregnancy test
I will not take a pregnancy test
I will not take a pregnancy test

To date, the mantra has not worked. Last month, I refrained all day, then finally broke down and took a test on the evening of Day 28. It was negative. The next morning my period arrived. It's all a scheme to get me to buy more pregnancy tests, I tell you!! 

There have been times when I've been almost certain I was pregnant. This is not one of those times. Actually, this is one of those times when I am certain I am not pregnant.

I am convinced that when I actually get pregnant I am going to know it. Probably because I will be projectile barfing. I have a long history of barfing at the slightest provocation, so I am fairly certain pregnancy will not be an exception to that rule.

Also, my basal rate temperature is really low right now, which would indicate the opposite of pregnant. Nonpregnant. Unpregnant.

So! What I like to do on Day 1 of any given cycle, after I've moped around feeling sorry for myself for a few hours, is -- I like to have a plan. A plan is a nice distraction. A plan helps me believe I am doing something productive, something that will eventually lead to conception.

My plan this month is manifold. It goes as follows... As soon as my period arrives I:

1. Am joining a gym.
2. Am going full throttle on all of my weird supplements, including royal jelly and chaste tree berry.
3. Am buying that Clearblue monitor thingy everyone is raving about.

It is a good plan. Maybe it will work and I won't need a plan after the plan. And a plan after the plan that comes after that.

Postscript: It is 4 p.m. on Tuesday and my period has started, as expected. After I finish typing this, I'm going to buy the Clearblue monitor and write up a schedule for the four thousand supplements I'm supposed to take every day and call 24 Hour Fitness to get my calorie burn on. This bitch is going down (not me. The not-getting-pregnant thing). 


  1. Sorry your period started--I'm with you today on that. I'm interested in hearing how your supplements work for you. I've been taking them for three months now and haven't noticed any changes at all.

  2. Yay for plans! And yay for buying pregnancy tests in bulk online!

  3. Ladies! Pregnancy tests cost a DOLLAR at the dollar store! They are just as good as the brand name ones. Don't waste your money on EPT and whatnot. (A friend of Christina)

  4. eggs&sperm - I'm really hoping that at the very least the supplements will make my periods more bearable. Days 1 & 2 I'm basically down for the count.

    Libby - exactly!

    Kasia - But then we'd have to GO to the store! ;-) I actually bought a bunch of REALLY cheap pregnancy tests and have blown through most of them so need to stock up again.

  5. Awww Sweetie,
    You know I'm a big blowhard half-Mexican. Love you so much and am so very proud of you.
    Your Mom

  6. Today is day 28 for me. According to (which has been off by 2-3 days every time for the past 6 months) my period was due today. However, I had it on the 19th of last month. I have the weird period like vibes so i popped some ibuprofin this morning. Stupid periods.