Thursday, March 31, 2011


My sister teaches junior kindergarten --- the youngest students on campus. These kids are a crack up. I mean you have to give them rules about everything. And even after the guidelines and expectations are clearly laid out, some poor souls will still have trouble staying on track. They aren’t bad kids. They just need a little more hand holding than most.

I know how they feel. In the world of trying to get knocked up, there are a lot of shoulds and should nots, a lot of rules to follow. When you think about all the things that may derail your fertility, it’s a wonder anyone gets pregnant. Ever. You can’t drink too much or be too fat or exercise too little or exercise too much. You need to eat a lot of vegetables and fruit and enough protein, which should be lean and grilled. And you should avoid processed carbs and artificial sweeteners and real sweeteners and anything fried. And don’t forget to drink lots of water and some tea and take all your supplements. And once you’ve done all that, make sure to have sex at the right time, in the right position with the right lubricant.

If these things came naturally to me, I might already be pregnant. But most them don’t. And even though I’ve read, highlighted and memorized the Making Babies rules, I still have trouble following them. Typically, I’m on good behavior during the week, and I completely fall off the wagon on the weekend, which has a way of extending itself from Friday afternoon to Tuesday morning. Half-time effort is better than no effort, but 50 percent is still a failing grade.

This is why I started to think about my sister and some of her slow learners. The solution (when other attempts have failed) is usually an incentive chart. She will reward a child with stickers for tiny successes and a larger prize for, say, a week of good behavior.

So, yes, I’m suggesting what works for 5-year-olds might work for me. Specifically, I’d like to work on the following areas: taking my supplements, eating more fruits and vegetables, eating less carbs (especially the sugary processed variety), and exercising. I’m not looking for perfection, just a strong B average.

Now, I just need to choose an incentive (other than the obvious of getting pregnant).


  1. Let me know if you think of a good incentive. I'm right there with you, of course. Strictly abiding by the rules all week and then it's the weekend and wine and bacon. Plus whenever I feel like my efforts are for naught, I just want to eat a huge pizza and go to bed.

  2. Loving your new blog, ladies!!!
    Hmmm... at WHole Foods they sell a coffee alternative called Teechino which has no coffee beans in it at all and is made instead of different types of plants. Its full of fiber, potassium and alot of other things. It might help you with your coffee cravings. I really like it, but I don't know if it could really be an incentive for you.
    Love you, Faith

  3. See, eating processed carbs and not eating vegetables would be my incentive.

    I guess that doesn't work, huh?

  4. I use the spa as an incentive. Or new shoes. It usually works pretty well.

  5. PS I still cn't believe you used the word "lubricant" in a blog post that your mom will read. You are gutsy.

  6. This is a quote that motivates me:
    "Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got."

    SN:Teechino is great! But it does not taste a THING like coffee. (Just a warning to anyone trying it.) I think it's good, but if you go in thinking "coffee" you will not like it. Go in thinking "warm drink." I like the vanilla with Hazlenut soy creamer added in.

  7. I'm trying this Making Babies program too after reading your blog. We are one small step away from IVF, and I'm terrified it won't work for me. It's nice to know that there are other options to keep trying if that doesn't work. I find it difficult to stick to these plans too when nothing I have tried in the past seems to work. Thanks for the blog! Right now, it's keeping a small thread of hope alive that maybe, one day, I'll have a little one in my arms. Good luck to all of you!

  8. What I'm getting from this is that you'd like me to make you a fancy sticker chart, ASAP. Roger that. I'm on it.