So I asked my doctor for progesterone and ... she prescribed it! Wonders will never cease when it comes to Dr. C. Why in the world I couldn't get a fertility specialist to test me for progesterone, I will never understand. Oh wait, I do: it's all about the money.
I'll be taking crinone gel. Please tell me you've heard wonderful things about this stuff and any tips/tricks you know when it comes to using it.
Meanwhile the battle of the bulge continues and I've embarked on the Paleo Diet. I know -- so obnoxious. It's one of the most restrictive diets I've been on, since it doesn't allow most dairy, legumes, or any grains. But after a lot of reading, I believe there is actually a significant amount of scientific evidence that backs up this way of eating.
And, there's also a butt-ton of evidence that the American government can't be trusted when it comes to what we should eat. Their food recommendations are always going to be tainted by the whispers of food lobbyists, who need us to keep eating corn syrup and getting cancer so they can make a lot of money.
Aside from all that, I'm just trying to relax. As the infertiles are constantly commanded to do. I should probably stop reading blogs, in that case. Today I read a blog written by an apparently fertile woman who was telling the quaint and adorable story of how she found out she was pregnant. This happens frequently. I read a blogger when she's single. Then I read about her wedding plans. And then I know it's coming ... she gets pregnant. Life keeps chugging along for some and stalls for others.
And then I read another blog by an infertile who finally had a kid after three IVFs, and her message of the day was basically: Don't sit on your hands. Make this happen for yourself. It's not how you imagined it was going to be, but you're going to have to accept that and start getting pushy with your doctors if you want this to happen.
It really rang true with me, since I do feel like I've sat on my hands quite a bit, waiting for a miracle. Thankfully, I started facing reality after the last miscarriage. Hence the battery of tests, and now the progesterone. I really only plan to give progesterone one or two cycles before I move on to something with a little more oomph. Time only moves forward and it's time to un-stall this process.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
some thoughts about the luteal phase
... or as it is known by those in the know: The Two Week Wait.
- Is it just me, or are you always starving during the 2WW, too? I find dieting so much easier during the first two weeks of my cycles. But as soon as I ovulate, it's like I need all the food, NOW.
- my temperatures are still really low, with no thermal shift. This would seem to indicate my body is not responding to the increase in progesterone. As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, my progesterone numbers are considered normal. Perhaps on the low end of normal, but normal enough to indicate I am ovulating. Should I just ask for progesterone?
- I asked Dr. Google how I could naturally bump up my BBT numbers, thereby hopefully increasing progesterone, and wow. Talk about mixed messages. Never trust Dr. Google.
- For example, there's one dude who says you should eat more sugar, and eat lots of whole foods, to the point that you are overeating, and you shouldn't exercise. I'm like: Hey. I am a living example of why that particular "method" doesn't work. Also, it's a little scary when people who aren't doctors dispense medical advice on the internet.
- The rest of the internet thinks I have a thyroid problem. Multiple tests have shown that, clinically, I do not.
- Plenty of internet geniuses think I should cut out gluten. I don't even know, you guys.
- Making Babies is not helping me the way I want to be helped right now. It alludes to a possible luteal phase defect. And the book and my doctor seem to disagree about what adequate levels of progesterone are ... I'm leaning toward simply asking for the progesterone supplement once this cycle is over.
- Mostly I just want to stop thinking about this forever.
- Is it just me, or are you always starving during the 2WW, too? I find dieting so much easier during the first two weeks of my cycles. But as soon as I ovulate, it's like I need all the food, NOW.
- my temperatures are still really low, with no thermal shift. This would seem to indicate my body is not responding to the increase in progesterone. As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, my progesterone numbers are considered normal. Perhaps on the low end of normal, but normal enough to indicate I am ovulating. Should I just ask for progesterone?
- I asked Dr. Google how I could naturally bump up my BBT numbers, thereby hopefully increasing progesterone, and wow. Talk about mixed messages. Never trust Dr. Google.
- For example, there's one dude who says you should eat more sugar, and eat lots of whole foods, to the point that you are overeating, and you shouldn't exercise. I'm like: Hey. I am a living example of why that particular "method" doesn't work. Also, it's a little scary when people who aren't doctors dispense medical advice on the internet.
- The rest of the internet thinks I have a thyroid problem. Multiple tests have shown that, clinically, I do not.
- Plenty of internet geniuses think I should cut out gluten. I don't even know, you guys.
- Making Babies is not helping me the way I want to be helped right now. It alludes to a possible luteal phase defect. And the book and my doctor seem to disagree about what adequate levels of progesterone are ... I'm leaning toward simply asking for the progesterone supplement once this cycle is over.
- Mostly I just want to stop thinking about this forever.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Ow, and ick
Well, good news. My uterus is normal. No polyps or fibroids or whatever. My right ovary has a promising looking follicular cyst that should pop out a nice little egg later this cycle, so I need you to send your most fertile vibes to my vagina, please. Thanks!
The procedure -- the sonohysterogram -- was ok. Mine was performed by a doctor who, if I had to guess, is about 150 years old. Imagine all the vaginas that dude has seen in his lifetime. Anyway, he shoves in the speculum and realizes my cervix is too high (I'm really beginning to wonder if my high cervix/tilted uterus is what's really behind my fertility issues, although I don't suppose that would explain the miscarriages). So his little helper nurse runs off to find a longer one. Oh, joy.
The longer one works fine. I feel some discomfort akin to menstrual cramps, in addition to the mental discomfort of two people staring at my vagina under fluorescent lights. He swabs my cervix with iodine, puts a catheter through it, and then helper nurse pumps saline solution into my uterus while he does a vaginal ultrasound. If there is any sort of prize for most use of the word vagina in a blog post, this one might win it.
So yeah. Kind of a relief, but still kind of a mystery. I'm gonna give this cycle a shot before I run off for karyotype (chromosome) testing and subject my husband to another sperm analysis. I'm just wondering if all this infertility crap is my dumb, shitty luck. It just would not surprise me.
Meanwhile I'm continuing to have my heart checked out and went this morning for my holter monitor, which is strangely more painful than an old man digging around in my vagina. That's because for the monitor they've got to scratch the points of contact on your chest and other areas on the torso. It really burns for like half an hour. After that it's just annoying because you feel like a robot. Going to the bathroom is especially fun.
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My echocardiogram is Saturday, and that's just an ultrasound of the heart. I fully expect these results to come back "normal," as in normal for me, slightly abnormal for others. I just want the doctor to say I should be fine to carry a pregnancy, which I expect he will. Not that I really care what he says; I'm still trying regardless, at least for the moment.
The procedure -- the sonohysterogram -- was ok. Mine was performed by a doctor who, if I had to guess, is about 150 years old. Imagine all the vaginas that dude has seen in his lifetime. Anyway, he shoves in the speculum and realizes my cervix is too high (I'm really beginning to wonder if my high cervix/tilted uterus is what's really behind my fertility issues, although I don't suppose that would explain the miscarriages). So his little helper nurse runs off to find a longer one. Oh, joy.
The longer one works fine. I feel some discomfort akin to menstrual cramps, in addition to the mental discomfort of two people staring at my vagina under fluorescent lights. He swabs my cervix with iodine, puts a catheter through it, and then helper nurse pumps saline solution into my uterus while he does a vaginal ultrasound. If there is any sort of prize for most use of the word vagina in a blog post, this one might win it.
So yeah. Kind of a relief, but still kind of a mystery. I'm gonna give this cycle a shot before I run off for karyotype (chromosome) testing and subject my husband to another sperm analysis. I'm just wondering if all this infertility crap is my dumb, shitty luck. It just would not surprise me.
Meanwhile I'm continuing to have my heart checked out and went this morning for my holter monitor, which is strangely more painful than an old man digging around in my vagina. That's because for the monitor they've got to scratch the points of contact on your chest and other areas on the torso. It really burns for like half an hour. After that it's just annoying because you feel like a robot. Going to the bathroom is especially fun.
.JPG)
My echocardiogram is Saturday, and that's just an ultrasound of the heart. I fully expect these results to come back "normal," as in normal for me, slightly abnormal for others. I just want the doctor to say I should be fine to carry a pregnancy, which I expect he will. Not that I really care what he says; I'm still trying regardless, at least for the moment.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
de blood
Well, it's been a couple weeks and a few doctor's visits, so here's my update:
Nothing.
My blood was tested for everything under the sun, and they came back with everything looking perfectly normal. Even progesterone (although on the low end of normal). While being good news, I was extremely disappointed. I wanted her to say, Oh! Your progesterone sucks. Here's a pill! All better now.
No such luck.
Next moves are:
- karyotype testing. This tells you if your chromosomes are jacked.
- another semen analysis.
- sonohysterogram. They inject saline into your lady parts and do an ultrasound. Sounds joyous.
Meanwhile I'm simultaneously having my heart re-checked and will also be having to wear a holter monitor for 24 hours (if you've never done this it is one of the most annoying things on the planet) and undergo an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) to establish that my heart is healthy enough for me to get pregnant in the first place. It is. We're just double checking.
If all that other shit comes back normal, and I have a sneaking feeling that it will ... the next move is probably something like Clomid and/or IUI. Ah, and I really need to try acupuncture. Been meaning to but just haven't gotten around to it yet.
I'm reaaallly hoping I can make something happen before that, but we'll see. I'm still taking my new "job" of losing weight seriously and have embarked on another juice cleanse -- I got pregnant shortly after I did this the first time. I do think weight loss will be the key for me, so I'm really not messing around right now. It's not easy, never has been and never will be. But it's so important, I can't ignore it anymore.
Nothing.
My blood was tested for everything under the sun, and they came back with everything looking perfectly normal. Even progesterone (although on the low end of normal). While being good news, I was extremely disappointed. I wanted her to say, Oh! Your progesterone sucks. Here's a pill! All better now.
No such luck.
Next moves are:
- karyotype testing. This tells you if your chromosomes are jacked.
- another semen analysis.
- sonohysterogram. They inject saline into your lady parts and do an ultrasound. Sounds joyous.
Meanwhile I'm simultaneously having my heart re-checked and will also be having to wear a holter monitor for 24 hours (if you've never done this it is one of the most annoying things on the planet) and undergo an echocardiogram (an ultrasound of the heart) to establish that my heart is healthy enough for me to get pregnant in the first place. It is. We're just double checking.
If all that other shit comes back normal, and I have a sneaking feeling that it will ... the next move is probably something like Clomid and/or IUI. Ah, and I really need to try acupuncture. Been meaning to but just haven't gotten around to it yet.
I'm reaaallly hoping I can make something happen before that, but we'll see. I'm still taking my new "job" of losing weight seriously and have embarked on another juice cleanse -- I got pregnant shortly after I did this the first time. I do think weight loss will be the key for me, so I'm really not messing around right now. It's not easy, never has been and never will be. But it's so important, I can't ignore it anymore.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
new job
I've given myself a new full-time job.
All I have to do all day, every day, is work toward losing weight. If nothing else happens, whatever. I just need this weight gone.
It's easy enough to "forget" or simply push aside all of the evidence out there that points toward weight being a major impediment to not only getting pregnant, but maintaining pregnancy, and producing a healthy child. I've been re-reading Origins in an effort to psyche myself up for pregnancy since I'm hell bent on making it happen ASAP. Early on in the book, what do you think the author mentions?
Weight. Specifically that kids born to pregnant women with weight issues have a higher incidence of birth defects, and then to add insult to injury, they also often inherit their moms' weight problems. In a study of women who had one kid, then weight loss surgery, then another kid, the second kid was shown not to have inherited their mothers' weight issues. Insane stuff.
I've read it so many times and listened to a heartfelt 20-minute lecture from a fertility specialist about it. And as a result, I've lost 15 pounds. But I need to do that, oh, at least a couple more times.
It's amazing that even with such a massive motivation, I haven't been able to shed all the weight yet. I'm not punishing myself for it, but simply marveling at it. Losing weight is extremely difficult. Everything in my body wants to stay at the weight it is now. Working against that and various other roadblocks (holidays, family meals, eating out with friends, PMS, cravings) is a full-time job that requires vigilance.
All I have to do all day, every day, is work toward losing weight. If nothing else happens, whatever. I just need this weight gone.
It's easy enough to "forget" or simply push aside all of the evidence out there that points toward weight being a major impediment to not only getting pregnant, but maintaining pregnancy, and producing a healthy child. I've been re-reading Origins in an effort to psyche myself up for pregnancy since I'm hell bent on making it happen ASAP. Early on in the book, what do you think the author mentions?
Weight. Specifically that kids born to pregnant women with weight issues have a higher incidence of birth defects, and then to add insult to injury, they also often inherit their moms' weight problems. In a study of women who had one kid, then weight loss surgery, then another kid, the second kid was shown not to have inherited their mothers' weight issues. Insane stuff.
I've read it so many times and listened to a heartfelt 20-minute lecture from a fertility specialist about it. And as a result, I've lost 15 pounds. But I need to do that, oh, at least a couple more times.
It's amazing that even with such a massive motivation, I haven't been able to shed all the weight yet. I'm not punishing myself for it, but simply marveling at it. Losing weight is extremely difficult. Everything in my body wants to stay at the weight it is now. Working against that and various other roadblocks (holidays, family meals, eating out with friends, PMS, cravings) is a full-time job that requires vigilance.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Old Faithful
I needn't have worried about Day 3 falling on Christmas, because my trusty old vagina waited until Christmas Day for Day 1. This has happened several years in a row, so I ought to have suspected this year would be no different.
Normally this would be beyond irksome, but this year, of course, it's pretty good news because it means I get to go for Day 3 testing tomorrow. Day 3 testing is nothing new for me and I don't expect it to reveal anything interesting, but I do wonder about the many other tests they're going to run at the same time.
No one wants anything to be wrong with themselves, but I hope there's something wrong with me just so I can have an answer, finally. Of course, I want it to be something extremely fixable, too. I'm particular that way.
There will be more tests later in my cycle, so I won't have the full story until near the end of January, but, oh ... I wait with bated breath.
Normally this would be beyond irksome, but this year, of course, it's pretty good news because it means I get to go for Day 3 testing tomorrow. Day 3 testing is nothing new for me and I don't expect it to reveal anything interesting, but I do wonder about the many other tests they're going to run at the same time.
No one wants anything to be wrong with themselves, but I hope there's something wrong with me just so I can have an answer, finally. Of course, I want it to be something extremely fixable, too. I'm particular that way.
There will be more tests later in my cycle, so I won't have the full story until near the end of January, but, oh ... I wait with bated breath.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
getting the ball rolling
What's that saying? The one about how if you have a problem with everyone, maybe you're the problem? After all, the common denominator is you.
I don't have a problem with everyone, but I do have a problem with most doctors. I've only ever had one doctor who helped me out. This was probably six years ago now, when I thought I was having panic attacks. She ran every test under the sun, and the results were super helpful. Turns out I wasn't having panic attacks; my heart is just a little jacked. Unfortunately, that doctor closed her practice.
I just saw a new doctor, and ... I am afraid to get my hopes up, you guys. I went in with my 7-page infertility questionnaire, told her it'd been over two years and two miscarriages, and said I wasn't interested in hearing about how I needed to have a third miscarriage in order for her to be concerned. She told me she wouldn't have said that, anyway. This may have to do with me being 34 years old now.
She is running 19 tests. Many of them are specifically for the repeated miscarriages.
And she's running the progesterone test, guys. Why has it taken me this long to find a doctor who would run a series of progesterone tests? I've always suspected progesterone was the issue.
I'll also get a heart check-up to make sure I'm OK to actually carry a child since it puts stress on the heart.
Of course, I need to wait for the start of the next cycle before I can do any of these tests. Many of them need to be taken on Day 3 of my cycle. And when do you suppose Day 3 is projected to fall for me, since my cycle has been spot-on for the last several months? That's right. Christmas Day. This Murphy's Law shit is the story of my life. I've just called and confirmed that yes, all of the labs will be closed on Christmas. As they should be. So I will probably have to wait until the following cycle.
It's ok, really. I do feel very rushed to get my results, but it's been over two years already. Another month won't hurt.
I don't have a problem with everyone, but I do have a problem with most doctors. I've only ever had one doctor who helped me out. This was probably six years ago now, when I thought I was having panic attacks. She ran every test under the sun, and the results were super helpful. Turns out I wasn't having panic attacks; my heart is just a little jacked. Unfortunately, that doctor closed her practice.
I just saw a new doctor, and ... I am afraid to get my hopes up, you guys. I went in with my 7-page infertility questionnaire, told her it'd been over two years and two miscarriages, and said I wasn't interested in hearing about how I needed to have a third miscarriage in order for her to be concerned. She told me she wouldn't have said that, anyway. This may have to do with me being 34 years old now.
She is running 19 tests. Many of them are specifically for the repeated miscarriages.
And she's running the progesterone test, guys. Why has it taken me this long to find a doctor who would run a series of progesterone tests? I've always suspected progesterone was the issue.
I'll also get a heart check-up to make sure I'm OK to actually carry a child since it puts stress on the heart.
Of course, I need to wait for the start of the next cycle before I can do any of these tests. Many of them need to be taken on Day 3 of my cycle. And when do you suppose Day 3 is projected to fall for me, since my cycle has been spot-on for the last several months? That's right. Christmas Day. This Murphy's Law shit is the story of my life. I've just called and confirmed that yes, all of the labs will be closed on Christmas. As they should be. So I will probably have to wait until the following cycle.
It's ok, really. I do feel very rushed to get my results, but it's been over two years already. Another month won't hurt.
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